For designer Bryan Graybill, a good holiday drinks gathering is rooted in the everyday ritual of cocktail hour. 'It’s the hinge in the day when the world softens a little,' he says. 'It’s the permission to exhale, the switch from the public self to the private one.' Growing up in the South, he learned early that the evening sip was less about alcohol than atmosphere. 'It was a pause, a reset, and a touch of glamour tossed into the mundane. I still think of it as a daily punctuation mark.' When it comes to how to host the perfect cocktail party, Graybill's uncomplicated yet considered touches ensure an elevated, yet relaxed event every time.
The Art of the Transition
In Graybill’s homes, cocktail hour is treated as an intentional interlude. The perfect martini moment, he says, is 'about timing and temperature.' The drink should be glacial – 'extremely bruised' – while conversation remains unhurried and the light just flattering enough to make everything (and everyone) look better.
His sundowners lean toward drinks with bitters, 'so you don’t down them too quickly,' but for him, it’s less about mixology than mood. 'Cocktail hour is analog, slow, and humane,' he explains. 'It’s a small rebellion against the tempo of modern life. It encourages eye contact, conversation, and the idea that your home can be a sanctuary, not a charging station.'
Setting the Stage
Atmosphere, he believes, is everything. 'Low light always wins – candles only is even better,' he says. He likes a smoky or resinous scent in the air ('I hate a floral candle') and the soft crackle of Nina Simone spinning on a vintage record player. 'When we’ve flipped to and finished the B-sides, it’s time to go.'
Lighting, the best candles, and sound combine to make the room feel alive yet unhurried. 'It’s not about staging perfection,' he says. 'It’s about staging comfort.'
The Still Life Bar
When it comes to perfecting your home bar setup, Graybill treats the cocktail tray or bar cart like art. 'It’s a still life,' he says. 'A proper tray, a few bottles with beautiful labels, a bowl of citrus, maybe a sprig of rosemary in a bud vase. It should look intentional but not fussy – like it’s always waiting for you.'
His barware choices follow the same philosophy. 'Quiet luxury doesn’t announce itself; it settles in. I’d rather have one exceptional coupe than a cupboard full of mediocre ones.'
Everyday vs. Holiday
During the holidays, he simply turns up the warmth. 'I’ll tuck in a little greenery, bring out heavier silver or crystal, and lean into richer tones – claret, evergreen, brass,' he says. 'The music shifts to something with nostalgia. And there’s always a nibble or two: smoked almonds, a proper cheese, maybe a little charcuterie.' Graybill recently shared his charcuterie formula for an effortless, yet abundant spread.
But the guiding principle remains the same: elegance through ease. 'Quiet luxury is restraint without overproduction,' he notes. 'Good glassware, real linen, a decent spirit –that’s it. The moment is the ornament.'
Ritual and Conversation
Graybill’s personal martini ritual borders on devotional. 'Nick & Nora glasses, always,' he says. 'A thin lemon twist like a ribbon. The glasses go in the freezer, so the first sip is practically crystalline.' When guests arrive, he offers a question instead of a drink list. 'What was the best part of your day?' is his go-to for shifting guests out of work mode and into life mode.
His own drink of choice? 'Añejo tequila – anything except Casamigos – on a big rock.' For Graybill, the magic of cocktail hour lies in the balance between performance and pause. 'It’s that small, daily moment,' he says, 'when the light fades, the candle flickers, and everything slows down just enough to feel human again.'
Bryan Graybill's Cocktail Hour Essentials
According to Graybill, a Nick and Nora glass is 'the perfect martini vessel – elegant and compact'. This set of 4 etched glasses brings an elegant vintage feel.
With base notes of amber, leather moss and tobacco, Graybill says this candle is 'smoky and resinous. The scent of evening.'
Graybill loves these candlesticks with simple taper candles for 'warm light for winter sundowners.' They come in 8 sizes and 3 different finishes.
If you don't own a vintage silver tray or haven't been able to track down the perfect one yet, this piece is sure to become a favorite. Over time it will develop a lovely tarnish and patina.
A hand-blown cocktail mixing glass like this, with a long spoon, is 'for the ritual, not just the result,' says Graybill. Made in the Hudson Valley, this unique piece is available in purple or amber.
'Fill a small bud vase with rosemary or winter greenery', suggests Graybill, 'for subtle scent and effortless style'. This Italian-made piece with a fluted neck is quietly elegant.
This feature is part of our exclusive series, A Designer’s Guide to Entertaining, with interior designer and seasoned host Bryan Graybill. Each month, Bryan will offer expert advice, holiday hosting tips, and effortless ways to create a more inviting home – beginning with the spaces where everyday life and memorable gatherings naturally unfold.
